


The Fire Bird

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Adorable Jester Lavorre, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Angst, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast Has Issues, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, F/M, Ikithon is a butthead, Jester Lavorre & Caleb Widogast Friendship, Jester is an angel, but that’s normal XD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: Jester needs three feathers from the tail of a Phoenix. That should be a piece of cake right? Except the only Phoenix around is being held captive by a mysterious wizard and does not in the slightest live up to its name.(Very loosely based on the Brothers Grimm tale, The Golden Bird)
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	The Fire Bird

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my drafts since October. So I just decided to heck with it.

Jester huffed, blowing a blue curl out of her face. She took another breath, pulling herself up over the wall with little grace. She managed to hook a leg over the top, biting her lip and squeaking as she almost fell on the large metal spikes adorning the top of the wall.

She balanced there for a moment, and then she swung the next leg over, hands sweaty around the large metal spikes. She looked down at the ground, muscles straining as she glared at the height of the wall she would now have to climb down. Hopefully, there would be more handholds going down then there were on the other side.

Jester carefully moved downward, hooking messy paint stained fingers and worn boots into whatever crack and crevice she could find in the polished stone. She nearly slipped, hissing furiously, “Stupid fucking wizards and their stupid extra fancy houses…”

Jester looked down again after a few moments and then grinned, letting go and falling the last few feet to the ground. She straightened from her crouch, brushing off the front of her petticoats and glancing around the orchard carefully. She adjusted her full to bursting satchel, glaring at the castle towering over the orchard in the far distance.

At long last her goal was within reach.

Jester crept forward, glancing between the trees, eyes wide. Spots of golden light sparkled, the leaves casting shadows as if they were their own light source. If the stories were true, their leaves were solid gold and silver. They certainly looked that way, all shiny and sparkly and pretty.

But time for that later.

Jester was not here for anything as drab as that.

She moved forward, counting quietly. The man and woman she’d asked had said that her goal was two hundred and fifty paces forward, straying neither to the right nor the left- at the exact center of the orchard. Jester glanced up at the trees again, catching sight of their heavy laden branches, their fruits dangling tantalizingly within her reach. The fruit glittered as much as the leaves, shining in deep jewel tones. In fact, they _were_ jewels and precious gems. There were rich clusters of emeralds and rubies, sparkling sapphires and deep purple amethysts, shimmering topazes and diamonds reflecting back the light, almost too blinding to look at.

Jester shook herself. She was not here for them.

They looked so yummy though. Surely it wouldn’t help to pick a few? Just a little?

She stopped herself. She was here for mama. For that dick Lord Sharpe. She would _not_ let that asshole win.

Jester stomped forward, pausing as she entered a clearing.

Her eyes widened as she saw the cage hanging from the tree. The bars were solid gold, encrusted with jewels, hanging from the tallest and oldest tree on the orchard, just as the tales had said. She was so close. Then she could get when she came for and, if she got out before sundown, she could vandalize the stupid wizard’s walls on her way out!

Jester hopped forward, seeing the bird, the object of her search shift within the cage. It was sleeping, head tucked into its wings. It… didn’t look anything like she imagined. It was brown and grey and dirty. Feathers were missing in large patches and from the long trailing tail feathers. But, well, there was only one bird in the Gilded Cage of the Golden Orchard. And as drab and boring as they were, she needed those feathers.

Three tail feathers from the last Phoenix.

She was so close.

A twig snapped under the heel of her boot.

The bird startled, wings flapping on reflex, hitting the bars of the cage instead. It squawked upon seeing her and Jester started forward, “Wait no! Shhh shh mister flaming bird! I’m not going to hurt you!”

The Phoenix slammed itself against the bars of the cage, opening its curved ebony beak to probably make more noise than was wise in a place she wasn’t supposed to be, “Wait! I’m just here to paint!”

The Phoenix, remarkably, paused, cocking its head as if her words had so confused it that it needed to stop and listen. 

Jester laughed nervously and clasped her hands together. Even though it surely didn’t understand her speech, she found herself rambling anyway, “Um, I heard about how pretty this place was and I had to see it for myself you know? And of course, I wanted to paint the last Phoenix.” The bird really was terribly dull and ugly and mangy, it’s feather encrusted with dirt and refuse. She chewed on her lip, “Well, I hate to say this but you’re not at all what I expected. I thought phoenixes were supposed to look like I don’t know, fire? You’re… well, you know baths exist right?”

The Phoenix shifted on its stand, peering carefully at her before, astonishingly, speaking, “Excuse me? We have only just met.”

Jester blinked. The Phoenix stared back, nonplussed. She leaned forward, taking a hesitant step closer, “Did you just talk?” 

The bird shuffled, sniffing daintily, “Nein. You are just finally losing your mind.”

Jester choked on a laugh, “You did!” She put her hands on her hips, “You are very funny, Mr. Phoenix you know that?”

The bird’s eyes narrowed as Jester stuck out her hand, taking the revelation in stride, “Well I am Jester!” She realized the bird could not shake her hand and took it back hastily, “There! We know each other now! And I’m telling you that you really need to take a bath. I can smell you from all the way over here you know.”

The bird really did glare this time, “How did you get in here?”

“I climbed the wall of course!”

The Phoenix craned his neck, “You climbed in? You’re not permitted to be in here?”

Jester scoffed, “Me? Allowed? Psh of course not! The stuffy old wizard wouldn’t even answer his stupid gate. Why would I waste time waiting for his wrinkly old ass when I could just climb on over?”

“You should leave then Fraülein Jester. The master of this house does not take kindly to trespassers.”

Jester snorted taking out her paints and easel, mostly because she just wanted to spite him, “Do you think I care about that guy? The least you can do is answer his door every once and awhile. In fact, I think I will carve dicks on his trees. What do you think of that?”

The bird choked, “Fräulein, you need to leave. You are in great danger.”

Jester raised an eyebrow pointedly still unpacking her bag, “You know, I don’t think I have enough shades of brown and gray to paint you.” She picked up her yellow, “I brought too many fire colors! Which far be it from me for thinking a _Phoenix_ would be a _firebird_ not a dirt bird.”

The Phoenix closed its mouth with an air of offense, “You know what, fräulein? Never mind. I’m sure you shall see what I mean when he comes.”

Jester hummed, eyeing him carefully, “Why do you keep calling me fräulein?” The word didn’t feel right in her mouth and, already knowing it wouldn’t come out right, she deliberately mangled it even further just to watch the irritation build in her new birdish companion, “I already _told_ you my name is Jester.”

The Phoenix shuffled, back hunching, “I am ignoring you now. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He buried his head back under his wing, and she could see now that she was really looking that he was, in fact, mud encrusted.

She wrinkled her nose.

Gross.

Back to painting then. 

She probably shouldn’t have called him ugly and dirty if she wanted those feathers. She supposed she could just go up and pluck them but he already had so little. Besides, she hadn’t thought it could _talk_. And he seemed to be grumpy and rude, but he wasn’t just a straight up asshole like Lord Sharpe. Maybe if she asked really _really_ nicely he would give her his tail feathers?

Maybe she should wait until he was in a better mood.

She huffed, lips pursing as she dampened her brush. This was going to have to be a longer expedition than she’d originally thought, wasn’t it?

Jester pouted, but began her first layer of paint. Maybe by the time she finished her picture she would have them? 

Unfortunately, she didn’t get very far before the sun began to set.

She had climbed the wall very late so she wasn’t surprised. Jester began packing up her stuff, announcing to the Phoenix who had remained pointedly asleep, “I shall be back again tomorrow to resume my painting.”

He didn’t respond and Jester frowned, “How about this? A painting as um, _fancy_ ," she wiggled her fingers to accompany that statement, in an attempt to make it seem more grand, "and _detailed_ as this will probably take a _long_ time. Give me three months and then I’ll be out of your hair. Er, feathers I mean.”

He still didn’t move and Jester shrugged, turning away to leave.

“If you must come back tomorrow,” Jester paused as he sighed heavily from behind her, “You must come back in the afternoon. Ikithon, the master of the house, is always away at that time.”

Jester eyed him thoughtfully before chirping, “Okay!” and bounding away. 

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is here: https://ford-ye-fiji.tumblr.com/


End file.
